Entry 8 Fascination with Elimination

Consideration:  Puddin poop

I am always intrigued by a perspective discovery.  Recently, my friend Michael had a revelation.  He and his wife had traveled from Chattanooga to St. Louis to hang out with my wife and I.  With a mix of trepidation and curiosity he told me that every time he travels a long distance and has to stop to relieve a certain urge he experiences, “puddin poop.”  As he explained further, “you find yourself in a gas station restroom, with questionable sanitary conditions, one-ply wafer thin toilet paper, six people waiting at the door and instead of a quick clean release, you get puddin poop.” (Not an exact quote, my memory is not that effective.)  “So, Mister Perspective Manager how are you going to reframe that?”  Gotta love the challenge.


Glad you didn’t lose it before you reached the exit.

Chance to practice your folding and stacking skills

Delighted the toilet paper roll wasn’t empty.

Relieved the flushing mechanism worked

Opportunity to practice your hand washing technique (Really important these days)

Appreciate the creation of 2-ply TP

Thankful for people who sanitize restrooms

Glad you hadn’t eaten any jalapeno peppers

Thankful COVID hadn’t closed down restroom use.

This was an exciting discovery.  Genuine perspective illumination.  I told Michael I had to blog about this.  As I began pondering I fell prey to my desire to turn puddin poop into a perspective awareness educational construct.  After three pages of notes I realized I wasn’t having any fun.  Puddin poop has a nice ring to it.  Sounded like a modern-day cartoon character, like “Peppa Pig.”  So, I said to myself, “take your head out of your butt and let the perspective flow.”

Take your head out of your butt.  That’s it.  Explore the fascination with colloquialisms that are associated with elimination and the region where it occurs.  Have you ever stopped to consider how many negative colloquialisms focus on elimination related images?  I wonder who determined it was a bad thing?  Certainly not someone with constipation issues.  Expression of negative colloquialisms associated with elimination seems to be universally accepted, even though they are anatomically illogical.  Let’s consider some.  I will use anatomically correct terms.  If you can’t figure them out, phone a friend or ask Seri.

“Take your head out of your anus!”

Unless you are a gifted contortionist, this one doesn’t make any sense.  Even if you could, why would that be considered a viable option.  Is this an insult or just a really good suggestion?

“You are such a rectum!”

What’s the message here?  Is that really a bad thing?  Seems to be a pretty useful part of the body.  We would be in a world of hurt, literally, if we didn’t have one.  I guess you are trying to tell me that I am a valuable problem solver.

“I pulled that one out of my anus!”

Pulled what?  Is this like a magician and their hat?  What did you get, rabbit or scarves?  What was it doing there in the first place and who put it there?  Wouldn’t it be easier just to tell me you are proud of your accomplishment?

“That’s bull feces!”  “You’re a horses petut!”  “Don’t be such a chicken grit!”

Where is PETA when you need them.  They are more worried about fur coats than animals caught up in disparaging colloquialisms.  What did animals do to deserve becoming objects of negativity.  What is it about a bull’s feces?  Is it that much different than any other animal’s?  Has any consideration been given to hamster leavings or squirrel droppings?  I always thought horses were considered noble animals so why would be the object of an insult.  As for chickens, I hear there is a place in Indiana where they turn chicken grit into filling for sand traps on golf courses.  So, you think calling me chicken grit is going to somehow motivate me?  Couldn’t we just talk about my apprehensions?

“Kiss my rosey red derriere!”

Odd suggestion.  I can’t think of any reason for me to accept that invitation.  I am curious about the rosey red issue.  Don’t you think you should have that evaluated?  Could be a rash or allergy.

“You are full of excrement!”

Not likely.  I think your understanding of human anatomy is deficient.  You might want to consider learning more about the large and small intestines.  Even those are rarely completely full.  I appreciate your concern about my regularity, but I’m not really sure why you are so worked up about it.

Had enough?  I am disappointed that I actually have a lot more references you would be familiar with. 

There are some elimination expressions that are simply informational.

“Don’t go in there until the Hazmat Unit arrives!”

Are you providing a public service announcement or proud of your accomplishment?

“I’ll be back shortly, I need to get down to playing weight.”

Play what?  All I see you do is sit on the couch and play with your phone.  Not sure a weight change will make any difference.

Ever wonder why it seems to be so easy to accept universal negativity.  A while back a bumper sticker achieved incredible popularity.  “Feces Occurs!”  Well duh.  Pretty much of a daily goal for most people.  Question:  Why would such an obvious statement be treated as a great insight?  Answer:  To establish the perspective that life is unfairly problematic.  There was even an effort to take the negativity to the next level with a sticker that read, “Life is bad and then you die.” 

I have found that most people who communicate universal negativity have no clue of the emotional drain they put themselves through.  Our culture has shaped our perspective to ignore what works and over-emphasize what doesn’t.  Example.  A driver who is not in a hurry ignores hundreds of traffic lights that are green and feels victimized by hitting a red light when they are running late.  In this case the victimization is self-induced, so if you’re already stressed by time why put an additional burden on yourself.

Where do you see yourself on the optimism-negativity continuum?  I probably gave to much consideration to whether I would offend you by using “puddin poop” as my opening.  I even considered using “pooh” as a less offensive option.  Like several of the images I have referenced “poop” is only a word.  Certain words create emphasis.  Avoids the need for an exclamation point.  So, does the choice of words really make a significant difference?  Yes.  If someone called you a rectum, it’s likely that you would either giggle or be dumbfounded.  The colloquial expression however, would likely be considered an act of war.

An expression used when I was young was “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”  I think whoever made up that expression omitted a critical element.  Words don’t do the damage, intention is the culprit.  Certain words intended to inflict emotional harm can result in unreconcilable damage.  As I tried to infer in my reactions to colloquial phrases, if we would simply talk about the issues that bother us, instead of name calling, we would solve a lot of problems and reduce the negativity we inflict on others and ourselves.  Words and phrases are merely descriptors.  Concepts like puddin poop spur imagination.  Colorful phrases are attention grabbers that release emotional energy.  Shock and awe exhilarates.  Creative imagery can be inspirational. 

My recommendation, focus your intentions on the positive and you will find the words to accomplish your objective.

Keith Neuber                                     www.ikan2.com                               keith@ikan2.com

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